Sprinkler Attack.

“Goddamn it Harry, your sprinkler is spittin’ out water over to my garden again,” said an agitated Lauren.

“Well deal with it, looks like that dumpster ya call a garden is brownin’ anyways. It needs my healin’ water,” shouted a satisfied Harry.

“You’re an inconsiderate bastard.”

“I can’t hear a damn thing you’re sayin’ ya ol’ ninny. Come over to my side of the fence.”

“Why would I want to go over to that hell hole ya call ‘heaven on earth’? I SAID YOU’RE AN INCONSIDERATE BASTARD! Go clean all that crap outta your ear.”

“Well you’re not exactly an angel either Lauranne. Like that fat orange cat of yours; he keeps tramplin’ all over my garden, like he owns it or somethin’. Someday, I’ll get a dog an’ he’ll scare the shit outta your cat.”

“Oh I’d like to see the day ya get a pet. Oh my, ya make me laugh Harry. You’re always complainin’ about one thing or another. I wouldn’t be surprised if ya started complainin’ about your new dog the minute ya get him!"

“Just shut up Lauren. Shut the hell up!”

“If ya don’t turn off that God damn sprinkler right now, I sware to God, I’m gonna call the police. Did ya hear me Harry? I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!”

“Go ahead ya ol’ grandma. I’m not scared of them youngsters in those fancy uniforms. I dare ya to call ‘em! Go on, call ‘em!”

“…Hello? Hello? 911? Is this the police station? Yeess, well I’m in dire need of help! Old man Harry – “

“Lauranne! I turned off the Sprinkler!”

(written September 23rd, 2009)