"What the?"

I laid on my bed for quite a while. I had a lot of work to do, but I thought “What the fuck?” I needed that time on my bed. I starred up at the ceiling. Glared at the walls. I looked out my window. Then it hit me. I remembered everything, the crazy crazy day I had had. Everything was coming out of nowhere. Memories from the past, images of the future…? The crazy lady that was yelling at me for surpassing her on the sidewalk, “what the fuck?” The dog that I had to shoo away from pissing on my bike. The dumbass mailman that gave me the neighbours’ mail instead of mine. And because of that, I had to go knock on the Robinsons’ door and asked for my mail. God they’re annoying with their “Hey Al! How are you doing today?! Well, won’t you join us for some pie! Have a mighty fine day, ya hear?” “What the fuck?” I got home to find that Michelle had left me a message on my voicemail. I was so happy and giddy. What did I know? She broke up with me through a voicemail. “Uh… hey Albert….” They always use your full name when it’s something serious. “Well, Monty’s back in town and he’s asked me to be his girl again and I said yes. So… I guess it’s over. Sorry Al. I hope we can still be friends. No hard feelings! Love you.” BEEP. END OF MESSAGES. THE END. FIN. HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Except NOT. Love you? Clearly she doesn’t love me! She’s sleeping with my ex-best friend! The “ex” means that he used to be my best friend. We were best friends since the beginning of time, well since grade 1 and everything went really well, and we were just GREAT pals, but then he moved away, and then he moved back, and then he moved away, and then he moved back and this time when he moved back I was all “Hip Hip Hooray because he promised to stay permanently now that he’s moved out from his parents and WHAT DO YOU KNOW? HE SLEEPS WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.” Anyway…. I look back at the ceiling. “What the fuck?” Whoever painted this room did a half ass job.